Iran Detroit

Regime change is never easy. In the case of David Montgomery, it has been decided by powers in high places that this supreme backfield leader needed to be taken out. Is this another botched regime-change ploy like Matt Patricia, Rod Marinelli, Charles Rogers, Jeff Okudah, Muammar Gaddafi, Saddam Hussein, etc.?

Other Lions fans think we are just doing it for the oil (Juice Scruggs). The former second-round pick will surely help bolster the Lions’ offensive line. Detroit can certainly use the talented center after surviving the intercontinental ballistic missile of Frank Ragnow’s retirement. Add to this a fourth-round and seventh-round pick that the Lions gained from Houston, and it seems like a good deal.

As the IRGC (Intolerable Retarded Green Bay Chumps) chants “death to Detroit” in Lambeau next year, the Lions will be missing their knuckles. I, for one, am going to miss the off-the-field antics, podcast appearances, and general vibes he brought to the team.

Monty had 33 TDs in three years and played a huge role in the progress made in Detroit. This type of loss will ultimately mean a power vacuum in the backfield will occur. Who will fill the void to help Jahmyr Gibbs move forward? Will Brad “Netanyahu” Holmes look to utilize the draft or even get veterans involved? Time will tell.

All I know is that David Montgomery can rest easy with 72 baddies telling himself, for at least three years, “Iran Detroit.”